© Frasier

With the lousy car Daft Daddy drives, I never know when I might have to start taking the bus. When I parked my car at the grocery store the other day, a security guard walked up to me and told me I couldn’t abandon my car there. So when I read about a mom getting kicked off a Seattle bus because of her baby’s diaper odor, I thought that was a bit rough. Although I do see both sides, I can’t imagine anyone kicking a mom and her baby off a bus. Well I guess in Seattle I can see Frasier and Niles doing it.

© Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Daft Daddy has never been very lucky. I once got thrown out of a casino because I completely misunderstood the crap table. So when I heard about this baby being born 8 pounds, 9 ounces on 10.11.12 at 13:14pm, I thought this has to be one lucky baby. Hopefully she doesn’t grow up to be like Detective Rollins and develop a gambling problem. I’m sure she’ll give you 3 to 1 that she turns out just fine.

© Sizzlin' Cool 10 Pin Bowling Set by Toys R Us

Daft Daddy loves to bowl. And why not, it’s one of the few sports you can do while drinking. But the Sizzlin’ Cool XXL 10 Pin Bowling Set from Babies/Toys R Us is such a pain to set up, you’ll want to start drinking as soon as you wake up in the morning. First of all, the base on each pin is too narrow – so trying to get all the pins to stand up on their own without falling over is an impossible task. You’d have an easier time trying to balance an egg on a toothpick. And the little bowling balls are weighted, so they don’t even roll straight. In fact, the only thing that could make the Sizzlin’ Cool XXL 10 Pin Bowling Set more annoying is if it came with Dora The Explorer’s, “I’m The Map” song set on repeat.

Daft Daddy Rated (2/5)

© Ironside

Greetings Daft Daddy fans! I know it has been ages since my last blog post, and I apologize for that. I’m sure the Captain on your box of Cap’n Crunch is now an Admiral. But guess what? Wee Mac is now walking! I honestly can’t believe it. For a while there I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to walk. I just kind of accepted the fact that he would always be the rock in every school play. I guess I’ll have to stop calling him Ironside.

But now that he can walk, we need to take our baby proofing to the next level – and that starts by installing a baby gate at the top of our stairs. If we don’t, we may as well just change his name from Mac to Slinky – because that’s what he’s going to look like tumbling down it.

Needless to say, Jeni and I are pretty excited about this milestone. But with this excitement does come a bit of sadness. There is a point when a baby turns into a toddler – and it appears Mac has reached that point. I understand that milestones are necessary, as that is how we typically measure our children’s progress – but milestones are also a reminder that things will never quite be the same. Sure I’m a bit sad that wee Mac is no longer a baby, but when he hits the washing my car, mowing the front lawn and getting daddy a beer out of the fridge milestones – I’m sure I’ll get over it.

© Trunki by Melissa & Doug

Now Daft Daddy has reviewed quite a few baby products – some good – some bad – some flat out awful. But I can honestly tell you the Trunki by Melissa & Doug is easily the best baby product I have ever reviewed. The Trunki is a children’s suitcase that not only functions as a suitcase, but children can actually sit on their Trunki and ride it. There is even a pull-along strap that allows you to pull your child if they get tired. They come in several different colors, so they are appropriate for both boys and girls. And if you have multiple children, don’t be surprised when they start racing each other on them. It’s a shame they don’t make these for adults. Although if they did, mine would probably be called Chunki.

Daft Daddy Rated (5/5)

Product Features

- Trunki allows children to ride their luggage through the airport or train station

- Lightweight, durable, carry-on sized suitcase serves as luggage, riding toy, and transport for kids on the go

- Features tow strap, carry handles, secure catches, integrated wheels and stabilizers to prevent toppling over

- At home, Trunki is a kid-friendly storage bin

- Holds up to 75 lbs.

© Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I guess in Chicago they don’t mind kids missing that many days of school, but in California it’s obviously a different story. A California mom was sentenced to 180 days in jail after she pleaded guilty to allowing her kids to miss more than 10 percent of the of the school year. She has a child in the second and third grade, and the two missed a total of 116 days of school last year. Parents seem to have a mixed reaction over the sentencing – as does Abe Froman – the Sausage King of Chicago. So what do you think? Was the sentence too harsh or too lenient?

© Learn & Discover Driver by VTech

The last VTech toy I reviewed was the Spin and Discover Ocean Musical Toy, and it was awful. I think it actually made my son dumber. But the Learn and Discover Driver by VTech is a complete 180. This toy features light-up arrows, an ignition key, gas pump, and a radio to keep your child engaged for a long period of time. Realistic driving lights and sounds add to the excitement. Apart from just the fun of driving, the VTech toy also helps teach letters, numbers, animals and music. As long as my son doesn’t grow up to drive like his mother, that is all I can ask for. Even crash test dummies won’t get in the car with her.

Daft Daddy Rated (5/5)

Product Features:

- Play 3D pattern with steering wheel, joystick, mirror, ignition key and light-up car

- 3 modes of play

- 5 destinations for learning

- Lights and sound for driving role play fun

- Teaches animals, numbers and music

- Requires 2 AA batteries (included)

© Spin and Discover Ocean Fun by VTech

Think of the worst song you have ever heard. Then think about that song playing on repeat for the rest of your life. “1-2-3, count the animals with me!” It’s more like, “1-2-3, will somebody please shoot me!”  The Spin and Discover Ocean Fun is designed to help your baby develop an awareness of cause and effect by pushing a starfish plunger and watching the animals spin round and round. The 3D turtle, dolphin, crab and octopus characters light-up buttons introduce the animals, while the same horrific song plays over and over and over again. Even Phil Connor’s stay in Punxsutawney wasn’t this painful.

Daft Daddy Rated (2/5)

© Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

An 8-month old girl was brought to a Texas hospital when her parents had suspected she had eaten one of her sister’s Water Balz – a ball that can expand up to 400 times if placed in water. Sure enough she did, and the doctors cut her intestine open and removed the bright green Water Balz. The little girl recoved and is doing fine now. They did not give the little girl’s name, but if her name is Violet and she likes to chew gum, this may not be the last we hear of her.

© In The Middle

As the school season starts, experts warn that overloaded backpacks with school books often result in back injuries among children. More than 13,700 kids aged 5 to 18 were treated in hospitals and doctors’ offices for backpack-related injuries in a single year. Daft Daddy never had this problem growing up, which may explain why I spent 3 years in the 4th grade.