I have a tattoo on my lower back. I’ve heard that might prevent me from getting an epidural. Is this true?
-Allison from Huntington Beach, CA
While the bull’s-eye on your lower-back may leave your anesthesiologist moonstruck, it shouldn’t stop him or her from giving you that pain-relieving injection during labor. Though you might have heard that the dye in the tattoo can be picked up by the epidural or spinal-block needle and carried into the spinal fluid or bloodstream, it can’t. Dye in a healed tattoo is fixed inside the skin. Plus, ink is chemically inert — in other words, totally harmless to the body. So feel free to be unique (just like everyone else) and turn yourself
into a human coloring book. Just don’t get any tattoos that you may later regret like Cher’s butt wings. I bet she wishes she could turn back time now.
While DaftDaddy is no Bobby Flay, he found a great reason to fire up his grill and reduce the chance of having a colicky baby.
Mothers who drink in early pregnancy more likely to have unruly children. DaftDaddy agrees, stay away from the booze ladies. And one more thing, can you get me a beer while you’re up?
The benefits of doing push ups. After a few reps and a spray tan, DaftDaddy will be ready for his role on Jersey Shore.
Sadly at my age, DaftDaddy is learning that to lose weight, exercising alone isn’t going to get it done – I’m going to have to diet. First of all, I know why I’m out of shape – I drink way too much. Which also means I love the bar scene. In fact, I love bars so much, that I was actually disappointed when I switched my cellular service over to AT&T, only to learn their slogan of having more bars in more places had nothing to do with booze. It’s also probably not a good sign that I can ring up $30 worth of food at Taco Bell and the cashier doesn’t even bother to ask me if it’s to go. So needless to say, DaftDaddy needs to make some changes in the diet department before wee Mac arrives.
Trying to lose weight at my age isn’t easy. I’m 41 years old. Meaning when Mac graduates from high school, I’m probably going to look like Mr. Burns. Heck at this rate, when I want to play catch with Mac, I’ll be so old that when he throws the ball to me, I’ll most likely have to roll it back to him. So DaftDaddy has consulted with Willie Moore over at MooreThanJustFitness.com, a website that specializes in online nutrition and personal training, and offers a ton of fitness advice. Which is kind of ironic, as a ton is probably what I need to lose.
“It’s never too late to get into better shape, no matter how old you are,” says Moore. “I’m proof of that. I use to look like a Milk Dud, but now I’m slim and fit like licorice. Black licorice of course.” Moore has a link on his site called 7 Secrets of Slim People. I’m sure it’s an interesting and informative read. But after all of that Milk Dud and licorice talk, DaftDaddy is gonna hit a movie first. Hey, baby steps right?
Normally DaftDaddy gets his travel ideas from Brady Bunch episodes. But just in case, here’s a few other great spots to visit some day.
DaftDaddy was once again over-served at his local pub. Should I ask my taxi driver to take me through the Jack-in-the-Box drive-through on my way home? Oh, how rude! DaftDaddy suggests you never refer to your pregnant wife as your taxi driver. The best & worst late night snacks.
Most people have an alarm clock to wake them up in the morning. Apparently I have Robert the Rose Horse. At exactly 3:58am this morning, Jeni sneezed so loudly I think I heard our neighbor’s car alarm go off. She found my near cardiac arrest amusing. I found it a reason to finally go to the new 24 Hour Fitness I just joined. So I arrived at 4:30am, and I couldn’t believe there were people already there working out! Granted it’s been a few years since I’ve been in a gym, but since when is the required workout attire a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off? Everybody looked like Chachi from Happy Days. And don’t even get me started on all the tattoos. I had no idea all these people played in the NBA.
So I chose to weigh myself before I began, and I can’t be certain but it sounded like the scale made a slight grunting noise when I stepped on it. If it could talk I’m sure it would have said, “One at a time please.” The number I posted wouldn’t have been so bad if I were 8 inches taller. Clearly it was time for DaftDaddy to get his sweat on!
Now keep in mind I’m strictly a treadmill guy. Nothing else seems to work for me, including the Wii Fit. Actually the one time I tried the Wii Fit the Mii character I created called me morbidly obese. Morbidly obese! Man, I thought that was a bit harsh. It’s not like I’m Kirstie Alley. Anyway, I ended up jogging 3 miles and walking 1 mile for a grand total of 4 miles – hooray for DaftDaddy! So I triumphantly yet gingerly limped out of 24 Hour Fitness, sweating so much booze I could have been cited for an open container on my drive home. But I was feeling good, knowing I made an effort to get in better shape before the arrival of wee Mac. Boys, it’s important that us dads and dads to be take care of ourselves! Next I have to do something about my “see-food” diet. Stay tuned.
DaftDaddy is thinking it’s time to prepare a disaster kit. With the new baby on the way, Bud Light & Slim Jim’s might not cut it anymore.
Interesting points by author John Cloud on the pros and cons of having children and the effects of parenting on relationships and mental well being. There’s no turning back now for DaftDaddy. The expression on this kid’s face looks a lot like mine.