© Kia Soul

After my hard hitting review of the Kia Rio, the good people over at Kia gave Daft Daddy the keys to yet another one of their cars to test drive. This time around they gave me the Kia Soul – which obviously was named after the capital of South Korea where the car was made.

For those of you who remember, the Kia Soul was the car driven by hamsters in Kia’s television commercials. Now I’m not saying using hamsters to promote the Kia Soul was as bad as Quiznos using those rats to promote their sandwiches, but one can’t help but wonder if there are hamsters under the hood of this car as well.

From the outside, the Kia Soul by itself is straight up boxy – there is no denying that. It’s about as square as a toaster. When I first saw it I didn’t know whether to drive it or put an Eggo in it.

It’s also easy to see that the Kia Soul is not a very big car, which made me question if I’d even fit through the door. I had images of folding myself up like Yogi Kudu when he squeezed into that tiny glass box on That’s Incredible. But to my surprise, the Kia Soul is actually a lot bigger inside than it looks.

The front and rear seats were very comfortable, and it had all the modern features you could ask for: Bluetooth, Satellite Radio, reverse camera – it even had an excellent sound system. You won’t notice it during the day, but at night the speakers actually light up when music is playing. It reminded me of my club days, only I didn’t pay a $20 cover charge to get in, nobody threw a drink in my face, and I didn’t have to tip a bathroom attendant for giving me a stick of Juicy Fruit and spraying me down with Hai Karate.

I also discovered there were no hamsters under the hood. Granted I don’t see Dominic Toretto or Brian O’Conner driving one of these in The Fast and the Furious 7, but it still makes for a fun ride around town even if you aren’t a career criminal.

The only downside of the Kia Soul was the lack of cargo space. If you have young children, there isn’t enough room to put a stroller in the back. And if you have any pets, you’re probably better off tying them to the roof like Mitt Romney did.

At the end of the day, Daft Daddy really liked the Kia Soul. But again I had to deduct a tie in my rating because it’s still a bit small for a new or small family. Safe driving Dafties.

Daft Daddy Rated (4/5)

© Giant Giraffe by Melissa & Doug

As if your house needed to look more like a Toys R Us, here is the Giant Giraffe by Melissa & Doug. At this point you might as well just name him Jeffery and hang a backwards “R” on your roof. This Giant Giraffe will transform your child’s nursery or bedroom into an African savanna - minus the malaria. This lifelike addition is sure to bring a smile to your young one’s face with its plush fur coat and spots patterned closely after the real thing. Daft Daddy has to stick his neck out on this one and say this Giant Giraffe is pretty cool.

Daft Daddy Rated (5/5)

© Cozy Coupe by Little Tikes

Daft Daddy has been known to be pretty lazy. I’m so lazy I think a two income family is when my wife works two jobs. But when our son wee Mac sees the Cozy Coupe by Little Tikes smiling at him, he always wants to go for a ride. Which means I have to peel myself off the couch like a Fruit Roll-Up and push him around the house. The Cozy Coupe isn’t the sturdiest of push cars, as they can easily fall over if your kid puts too much weight on the door while trying to get in our out. Although it’s not funny, you can’t help but giggle when the car flips over like Fred Flintstone’s car after he orders that huge plate of ribs at the end of every episode. But a the end of the day, kids love this car.

Daft Daddy Rated (4/5)

When Daft Daddy was 16, the closest thing I got to a lap dance was watching my next-door neighbor Lisa doing headspins on my Alfonso Ribeiro’s Breakin’ and Poppin’ Break Dancing board. But this is 2013, where a New York mom was recently charged with five counts of endangering the welfare of a child after she allegedly hired strippers to perform at her 16-year-old son’s birthday party. The 33 year old mom is said to have paid for two ‘female adult entertainers’ to perform ‘intimate dances’ for birthday party attendees, which included five who were younger than 17. Would you hire an adult entertainer for your 16 year old child’s birthday? Put your hand in the air and do a Floating Gremlin Spin if you would.

© Peekaboo Barn by Night & Day Studios

Daft Daddy has never been a fan of watching little kids playing video games in a restaurant on a hand-held device while dining with their parents. Now that I have children, this behavior makes perfect sense to me. I now understand for the sanity of both parents and other restaurant guests, this is a tool that should be embraced for all children until they turn 18. Peekaboo Barn by Night & Day Studios is a downloadable app for your smart phone that will keep your wee one well entertained as well as well behaved when the time calls for it. It features a little bouncing barn with friendly farm animals that pop out and surprise your little one when they touch the screen. Your child will learn the names of all the animals as well as their sounds, which will be especially useful when they watch old reruns of Green Acres when they are older.

Daft Daddy Rated (5/5)

© Pretty Woman

Kris Humphries’ pregnant wife Kim Kardashian went lingerie shopping this week in Beverly Hills. Hopefully Kim was not snubbed by a saleswomen like Vivian Ward was when Edward sent her shopping on Rodeo Drive. Daft Daddy is unaware if Kim received any help from a hotel manager with the purchase of her lingerie, or if she received any assistance with her dinner etiquette.

© Schlitz

Daft Daddy is no stranger to the drink. When Booze does its taxes this year it will list me as a dependent. But according to a new study published in the medical journal Pediatrics, children who are exposed to alcohol ads on television – and who say they like the ads – may experience more severe problems related to drinking alcohol later in their adolescence. Daft Daddy is a little skeptical of this study. I loved all the beer ads growing up and I don’t have a problem with alcohol. Which is a good thing because now I can drink as much as I want.

© Stachifier by FCTRY

Daft Daddy does not understand what the mustache craze is in America these days. It’s all over Facebook, Instagram, and now it can be all over your baby. The Stachifier by FCTRY is a pacifier for babies that, well, has a mustache attached to it. So your baby can look like Magnum P.I., Ron Swanson, or even Ron Burgundy. These tend to sell out just before November for some reason.

Daft Daddy Rated (4/5)

© Cowboy Tee Pee by Pacific Play Tents

If your children are running around like wild Indians, Daft Daddy suggests buying this Cowboy Tee Pee by Pacific Play Tents. This lifelike tee pee brings the Old West to your living room. Large enough to fit a small band of buckaroos, it’s designed to be a favorite stronghold for hours of storytelling and pretend fun. And if daddy falls off the wagon and has too much fire water, the Cowboy Tee Pee is perfect for him to pass out in. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.

Daft Daddy Rated (5/5)

© Milo

Daft Daddy has been refused service in many restaurants in his day, mostly because bartenders continue to over-serve me. But in Houston, a waiter refused to serve a customer last week after they made a disparaging remark about a 5 year old little boy with Down syndrome who was dining in the restaurant with his family. Instead of getting fired, the server is being celebrated for standing up for the little boy. You can read the whole story by clicking here.