As Featured in the June 16, 2012 Ask Daft Daddy column in the Orange County Register :
Well my first Father’s Day as an actual father has come and gone, and I have to admit – I didn’t realize I would be sharing this very special day with so many other dads.
I spent it with my dad, my wife’s dad, my brothers (who are dads), my sisters’ husbands (also dads), a short-pouring bartender (a cheap dad), a taxi cab driver (a smelly dad), and a restaurant full of other dads also celebrating what I thought was a day that uniquely belonged to me. Not so much.
Overall I would have to say it was a bit of a disappointment. I guess I was expecting to collect $200 for passing Go, but instead I felt like I just collected $10 for finishing second in a beauty contest – which with my looks I should be happy about. But there was one nice thing that happened over Father’s Day weekend – my wife Jeni and I bought a new car!
We really didn’t have much of a choice, as our 9-month old son is growing so fast his head was about to pop through the roof of our car like Dino. Although this is our first new car together as a family, it’s really more my wife’s car. And I’m ok with that – especially with the way she drives. Now I’m not saying she’s a bad driver, but let’s just say that crash test dummies fasten their seatbelts when they get in the car with her.
So do I feel comfortable having my wife drive our son around? This my friends brings us to our Ask Daft Daddy question of the week:
Dear Daft Daddy: My husband drives like he’s in the Indianapolis 500! At this point in our marriage he knows how I feel, and we both know I can’t change his ways. But we now have two young children and it makes me nervous when he’s driving them around. He tells me now that we have children that he’s a safe driver. But how can I be sure he’s driving safely with our kids in the car?
– Emma from San Juan Capistrano
Dear Emma: Unless you and your girlfriend want to play Cagney and Lacey and follow him everywhere he goes, you’re going to have to take his word for it. As a parent, we all have to be more careful driving our kids around. Driving them day in and day out can lead us all to become a little complacent, causing us to often overlook the child safety aspects of safe driving. But there are a few signs to look for that may be a good indicator that your husband isn’t driving as safely as he is leading you to believe. Below I’ve outlined a few of those signs:
- He tailgates so badly he can legally drive in the carpool lane by himself.
- People hide his keys at parties and he doesn’t even drink.
- He’s always swerving to avoid trees in the road, not realizing it’s just his air freshener.
- He changes his airbag more often than he changes his oil.
- He sees more middle fingers than a manicurist.